Im a good role model, you know?: survivor, bachelor, apprentice

As a kid, my friends would ask me who is my Idol. And i would get stumped and go like "erm... dunno la" and people would think its crazy that i dun have a idol to wow over.

But who is worth my attention and time? and my ears so i can listen to their songs.

who should i choose?

Therefore being an highly welcomed individual (self-proclaimed) i decided to set up a competition to see which idol in Asia is worth my time and attention.

*DISCLAIMER: ALL MADE UP!*

*The idol-less bachelor : Singapore edition*

*plays the SURVIVOR THEME SONG (OH YEH YA OEH YEH YAH OEH YEAH YA)*

To be read in a deep, serious tone: this season, IDOL-LESS BACHELOR Dayvid Chia is going to choose his new idol. lets present.

contestant number 1: F4 *cough* faggots *cough* (notice the use of purple color)

contestant number 2: comic Boyz

contestant number 3: Jolin Tsai

contestant number 4: S.H.E.

contestant number 5: Sun Yan Zi

contestant number 6: Cyndi Wang

*sorry Jay and Wilbur are too busy to fight for my attention, nevertheless, they're hot*

I listened to their songs, and Jolin suddenly said

"HEY, why do u put that old photo of mine?"

and she showed me her new photo:

(kan wo 72 bian picture)

and i said "not pretty enough, might lose to S H E, if they all combined"

she bit her lips and transform again:

(Hai Dao, Castle, Album)

i erected abit *blushed*

but as a highly organized individual, i said "no one would wear this and go out, might lose to S.H.E if they combine with Cyndi you know? "

She rolled her eyes and gave me a dirty look thinking "wah lao, Where got people like that xian dong xian xi?"

she went home and changed:

(J game Album)

she said, in her sexy lips "liddat can le or not? a white tee and a low waist jeans, people will go out like this right? "

but i wasnt happy still "pls la, look at yr hair, although u are obviously very very chio, but look like a chao ah lian"

she fumed.

and changed again!

CHIO!

I erected fully :)

So, its time to make my decision

*imagine me as Donald Trump, only with more and nicer hair, in my armani suit, sitting in a huge rectangular table, and the contestants sitting in front of me ala The Apprentice*

me, turning my head "F4, you have failed to impress me with yr songs, i am utterly sick of yr meteor song. all of you needs a hair cut. you failed to look like a normal human being. im sory F4, you're fired"

*and they turn to leave*

turning my head to Cyndi "Cyndi, i like yr jet black hair and yr new song Jie Mao Wan Wan, but im afraid you failed to show creativity in albums, acting cute in that Ai Ni is enough, now u have to do that to Honey and CynDi with you, you have no creativity, and i feel like slapping you with my new cheap $2.60 water bottle i just bought from NTUC, you re fired"

*cyndi turns to leave, close the door behind her, and make some act cute noise to her manager*

Facing Comic Boyz "Hi, I like yr theme songs in yr album, other than that, all the song sucks, and you guys look wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than f4, cuter and... just cuter. but Im sorry, yr market are those teeny girls, im not one of them, so, you're fired"

they left.

then i turn and face Sun Yan Zi

"I actually wanted to support you cos you are a fellow singaporean, but too bad, my ex likes you and i dun wan to be reminded of my ex. PLUS u cant dance, So try harder next season"

Sun left too. humming "WO YAO DE XING FU"

Left Elva and Jolin.

I faced Jolin and said "hi Jo. I like yr dances, and the new images u've shown through yr albums. and yr catchy songs are very entertaining."

and i spin around 180 degree on my office chair ($59.90, from Ikea) and said "Elva, i like yr songs sometimes, but not on the whole"

so i made up my mind.

the winner is:

Jolin Tsai!

elva left, and Jolin immediatly danced Wu Niang in front of me.

i was memerized completely. :)

she also showed me her new Concert Photo:

i was like "show me for fuck? never invite me, this picture Google can get le la"

she rolled her Mascara Covered eyes and take out 2 pieces of paper from her LV multicolor monogram series which look like this

and handed me over the papers, and said "nah! dun say i never give you, dumbass"

i know i chose the correct winner for this season IDOL-LESS BACHELOR when i saw wad she gave me.

yah, i was eating Carls Junior AND filming the show at the same time.

Since i showed you so many chio pictures, i tot i show you something FUCKING DISGUSTING.